Steve Askew as told to Katie Cunningham 

The kindness of strangers: In one of my darkest periods, a few compassionate words helped turn my life around

I was standing at the traffic lights with the weight of the world on my shoulders when a man approached. He will probably never know the impact he had on my life
  
  

Colourised photo of a man with his arm wrapped around a woman's shoulders
‘A man walked up, put his arm around me and said, “Everything is going to be OK,”’ recalls Steve Askew. Composite: Victoria Hart/Guardian Design/Getty images

My cousin had recently died in a terrible accident and I had been the one who had to identify the body. It was one of the darkest periods of my life, on seemingly every front: I was in the midst of a divorce; it was during the global financial crisis and the company I worked for was badly struggling, making every day feel heavy with uncertainty and stress. Everything was a mess and I was emotionally exhausted.

One morning during rush hour, I stood at the traffic lights waiting to cross on my way to the office. I was lost in my thoughts but must have looked like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders, because something unexpected happened.

A man walked up, put his arm around me and said, “Everything is going to be OK.” I burst into tears and by the time I’d pulled myself together he was gone, disappeared into the crowd.

There was nothing remarkable about him at all. In fact, I can’t even remember his face. But that brief moment shifted everything for me.

I had been dwelling in victimhood and this stranger snapped me out of it. His kindness gave me enough hope to make a change and turn my life around.

Soon after, I quit my job. I went travelling around the world, something I had been talking about doing with my cousin, and met the woman who became my partner in Germany. Three children later, we have built a happy and deeply fulfilling life together – a life I could never have imagined standing at those traffic lights all those years ago.

That stranger will probably never know the impact he had on me. But a few compassionate words, offered at exactly the right moment, altered the course of my life for ever.

What is the nicest thing a stranger has ever done for you?

 

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